Thoughts on Something Far, Far Away

I know it's silly to have this many ideas about an event that is still (at least!) a year off, especially one for which I am unqualified. (We still aren't engaged: life stuff keeps happening, moves, no jobs, etc.)
I am one of those girls that has been dreaming of her wedding day since she was a child, so it's not unusual for this to happen, especially considering that we've been dating for nearly five and a half years...

Anyway, on with the thoughts on something far, far away!

I have been collecting love songs that describe our relationship because I think that I want to customize the music at the wedding. Everything from pre-ceremony music, to the exit song at the end of the reception, including the processional and all the songs at the reception.
This way, we can save some money on a DJ and use just an iPod (or two).

Like much of the world, I have become obsessed with Pinterest. I have a pinboard there dedicated to the wedding, whenever it comes.
There are so many ideas on that pinboard.
Chief among those ideas are having an appetizer table, so that the guests can begin noshing whilst my groom and I are having our pictures taken (and taken, and taken...) So, needless to say, there are several pins of appetizer inspirations (and hand-held foods).

With my love of all things vintage, I have also been drooling over all the vintage stuff at weddings. I don't even care that it's going to be out of vogue when it comes time for me to walk down the aisle. (Perhaps then it will be cheaper for me to rent / find stuff?)

Also, I'd love to have the reception in a barn. Just sayin.

I don't want to do the traditional "everybody dance all the time!" thing at the reception.
Dancing will be optional, but music will be happening. (Obviously.) And I want people to dance before we get there, too. I want my wedding to be fun!
...there will be games at the reception, though. The Game of Things, Apples to Apples, Taboo, etc. Maybe even a customized version of Who?

I have been in love with asking a particular husband-wife team of photographers to do the wedding, but if I do go with them, it would be EXPENSIVE. (Like $7000 for the full day of coverage!) I guess it could be justified, though, if I save money on the DJ, the appetizers, the invites, and (some of) the desserts. Besides, that's two photographers for the whole day... I guess it could be justified. Maybe. We'll see.

Oh!
Desserts!
I forgot to mention that I have been wanting to have a cake for my man and I to cut (and shove in each others' faces), and then also have a small cake at each table for the guests, plus cupcakes as souveniers (or just as take-home desserts). And we decided a long time ago to go with a checkerboard cake.
The cakes all the tables (our cake included) can be checkerboard, and then the cupcakes, if we still go that way, can be one cake color with filling of the other color, so the cupcakes won't fall apart. (I fear the falling apart would happen if two cake types were used and then fused...though maybe if they were combined in the baking --like chocolate on the bottom and yellow on top of it, then baked-- it would work.) Haven't decided on cake flavors, though.
The cakes can be done at home --I don't mind baking like a mad woman-- and then frosted elsewhere, but that's probably a pipe dream. (Ha! No pun intended.)
Besides, the design will be a difficult one. I cannot decide on that to save my life.

I have (sorta) decided on colors, too: mustard, teal, and light gray.

I am in love with the idea of having the meal be a plated affair, but I am not 100% committed to that. We also want a Greeley business to do the catering, but I don't know if they offer plated catering or not. And, with our upcoming move to Denver, I don't know if that's still going to be the plan we go with or not.

The dress.
Ah yes, the dress.
It all depends on if I hit my target weight or not.
...all I know is, I am not getting married at the present weight. No, not gonna happen.
I don't care if he shows up with a diamond tomorrow and a pair of plane tickets to Vegas. Nope.
I'd love something to go with the vintage theme, but I don't want a ton of lace.
Also, no train. Or, if I fall in love with a dress that has one, I want it to be detachable.
There are several dress styles that I'm in love with, but I (obviously) haven't actually seen them in real life or tried any on, and The One depends on what size I am anyway. I don't want to find one at this weight, shed a ton of weight, and then have to (a) have it dramatically altered or (b) buy a whole new one.

As far as the invites go, I could do the save-the-dates myself. I could (probably) even do the invites myself. I'm crafty like that.
...but there are a bazillion awesome choices out there that I love. I'd have such a hard time choosing a suite of options to go with. Which, when you think about it, I could combine all the elements I love about the professional suites onto one, and add some handmade elements in. Save some money? Probably! (Hopefully!)

See, we have all these ideas and stuff for the wedding, we just need everything else in life to cooperate so we can get on with it!

Update

We have decided what we're going to do when my uncle gets out, which, as it turns out, is in exactly five weeks from today. (That would be February 9th.)

Jacob is going to go to Denver and stay in his aunt's basement, where he will find a job and establish a life for us.
I will move back into my parents' house --into my old room-- where I will finish my degree.
In May, we will move back in together. (I hope he has a job by then!)

I know it will be hard, being apart from him, but it's for only three months.
..besides, I have a week-long Spring Break in there.
...and he's only an hour away, so if the need to see him gets too strong, I can always just hop in the car and go see him.

Strange Happenings

So, I've missed some major updating.

Since February 18th, Jacob and I have been co-habitating.
We're living in my uncle's trailer until his jail sentence is up.
(It looks like it will be over in February at the earliest, August at the latest.)

It's been interesting.
We've learned a lot, as per expected.
...but the thing is, since May we've had more responsibilities than we originally signed up for, and more than most co-habitators have. We've been helping take care of my grandmother and all of her yardwork, since my aunt passed away at an untimely age of 58.

Living together has been good for us, though.
We've learned how to deal with things. We're learning how to communicate with each other about sensitive subjects. We're learning about what makes each other tick, from a more first-person perspective. It's all the things that co-habitators deal with. Who gets up to let the dog out at 7:00 AM, who refills the empty pet bowls, who cleans out the litterbox, who washes the dishes, who puts away the laundry, etc.

We're facing two major obstacles right now, for our future to move forward.
1. My grandma told me that if I marry him, she'll need to reword her will, again. (And the way she said it, it didn't sound like it was to accommodate my new last name or to incorporate my hubby.)
2. We still have no way of making our plans come into fruition for when my uncle gets out. The job market is not good, just like it is everywhere. We're getting by on his unemployment for the moment; I'm just grateful we don't have to pay rent. I'm hoping that we are going to be able to be in a place by January, just in case. The school year ends in May, so we need to stay in the area until at least then, but after that, who knows where we'll go. We're considering Denver or Fort Collins at the moment, but Seattle, Portland, and places farther South are calling.

Re-Thinking Rings

Since that last post, I have done some exploring and have found engagement rings that are a lot more inexpensive and would mean a lot more, in the grand scheme of things.

Homemade engagement rings from sellers on Etsy might be the way to go.

Some even offer wedding sets, and some even have rings for men.

...it's definitely something to consider and discuss.

Ring-a-Ding-Ding

The first thing a woman does, naturally, when her boyfriend starts dropping hints about popping the question is look at ring styles. These days, there are so many styles to pick from; it's no wonder that a guy can easily lose his mind trying to find the right ring for his girl! Well, that, and he doesn't want to get her something that she hates, and yet has to wear every day.

Jacob has expressed an issue with diamonds, asking, "Do engagement rings have to be diamond?" In truth, no, they don't. Diamond engagement rings were first documented in 1477, given from the Archduke Maximilian of Austria to his betrothed, Mary of Burgundy, but engagement rings themselves have been around since the Roman era, give or take eight centuries.
Diamonds have become the modern tradition, though, because of DeBeer's awe-inspiring advertising campaign, and because they are the hardest stone on the planet, symbolizing innocence and constancy. And, according to DeBeer's, "A Diamond is Forever." They do have a practical use, though: because of their hardness, they can withstand everyday wear and tear, and resist scratching.

I'm sure my love was asking on a more personal basis, meaning, "Does your engagement ring have to be diamond?" Honestly, I had never seen it any other way. Blame it on the movies and modern media, if you like. Some brides may choose rings that are fitted with their birthstone, while some just choose a stone that they think is beautiful; others, like me, just go the traditional route and choose diamonds.
For one thing, my birthstone is pearl, which is down at around 4 on the hardness scale (a diamond is a 10) and is known to be porous. For another, I have never seen my engagement ring as anything other than diamond. I'm sure that his concern lies in two factors: one, diamond rings are available nearly everywhere, so they aren't as rare as some would lead you to believe, and two, the cost of diamond rings can be outrageous.

I have done some looking around online at some ring styles, to find styles that I like; I even found some at a few local retailers, so if he sees one on there that he likes he can just go there and take care of business. (When the time comes, of course.)

For these styles, I have kept in mind three things:

1. The cost. I know we don't have a lot of money to spend (and neither will we, when it actually comes time to get a ring), so while these choices are all diamonds, they are not full-carat rings. (Well, the ones from local retailers aren't, anyway.)
2. The ring has to have a visual attraction to it. My boyfriend is an artist, and I am an amateur freelance photographer, so there must be some sort of visual dynamism that pulls us in. He can obviously veto any of the rings; he is the one buying it. (But he must also keep in mind that I am the one wearing it, so my voice carries a bit farther in this case.) Granted, one would think that rings are made to be looked at, and so jewelry designers wouldn't make unattractive rings, but they do. (IMHO) Sure, they are taught the basics of composition, same as the rest of the artists in the world, however, it all comes down to individual taste.
3. He doesn't wear jewelry on a daily basis, so his ring --should we buy complementing rings-- should be simple in nature.

First, the engagement rings available from local retailers, in no particular order:

I love the unique, double band look of this one.
Available from Ostbye (a partner of local Weiss Jewelers)

I love, love, love the Everlon collection.
Not only because the debut commercial for it included my favorite version of I Got You Babe, but because the entire collection is gorgeous, and I love the knot symbol.
Available locally at JCPenney.

Semi-art deco inspiration, yet simple enough to be worn with anything.
A touch high on the ostentacious meter.
Available through Ostbye.

I love the trail of small diamonds leading to the larger one.

(This one is the most expensive ring on this local list.)
Available through Zales.

The classic, traditional ring, able to complement nearly any wedding ring added to it.
Available at Ostbye.

This one is from one of my favorite lines of jewelry out there: Past, Present, and Future.
Gotta love the way that 1/4ct stands out above the channel stones.
(Ties for most expensive ring on here.)
Available at Zales.

And now for the bridal sets at local retailers, again in no particular order:

Gotta love the Celtic-inspired twisting of metal on this piece.
And the art-deco-esque stone adds visual oomph to it as well.
Available through Allison-Kaufman Company.

A simple, round engagement ring is enhanced by an encircling round set of diamonds on the wedding band.
Simple, and yet visually attractive. Truly made to look like it is just one ring.
Available through Ostbye.

Gotta love the way the lines keep leading your eye back to the center stone.
Available through the Allison-Kaufman Company at Weiss Jewelers.

This looks like two pieces purchased separately and then combined brilliantly.
Available through Ostbye.

And now for some from around the web, just for inspiration, in order from solitaires to wedding pairs:

(These are all way too expensive for me to actually put these on a list of potentials!)

Simple ring, yet able to make a woman feel special whilst wearing it.

Love the dainty, vintage-inspired details on this one.

Love the brushed metal look of this one, plus it has a built-in eternity ring.

A simple ring to please my simplicity-loving man, and a visually stunning, yet simple, ring for me.

This one just speaks to the classic-lover in me. You could pair her ring with a simple round-cut engagement solitaire, or leave it just as it is. Plus, his ring isn't over-the-top and yet adds visual interest.

Now, there you have it. A few ideas, most of them simple.

I do not want a gaudy, showy, extravagant piece of jewelry.

My man does not need to buy my love, and we need to be able to still afford to live, as well as pay for a wedding. Besides, we are of the working middle class; if we were from the upper echelons of striated society, then perhaps we could afford something with a bigger stone, and I wouldn't be so hesitant as to turn up my nose at one of those last-listed rings.

Him & I & Us

Jacob and I met in December 2004 when I started working at a thrift store for which he was already employed.
(That's a verbose way of saying we met at work.)

He worked in a different department than I did; he usually worked in the furniture department in back and I worked as a cashier up front. Back then, he always seemed so mysterious; now I know that's just because he wants to impress, but not come across as more than intellectual.
I remember finding excuses sometimes to go in the back when he was working. It helped, too, that the employee break room was in the back of the store. But why he decided, randomly and without provocation, to walk all the way to the front of the store just to put his head on my shoulder...I may never know. (He currently doesn't remember doing it.)
I gave him a few rides home; I couldn't bear to see him (anyone, really) walk in the blowing snow. I don't remember what my reason was for giving him a ride home when it was 70 degrees out. Or what it was when I had to wait 30 minutes because our shift-ending times crossed...
Well, five months after I started working there, he was let go. At the time, I wasn't even sure if he liked me, but I knew I liked him. So, being the stupid, persistant girl that he has forced me to become, I looked up his phone number, having only his last name and rough address to go by. I called a couple times, giving up eventually when the phone calls only came from me.
A male friend of his, whom I was lucky enough to befriend, came in one day after he left and told me, after a few minutes of random conversation, that I should just "be a 21st century woman," and that Jake did, in fact, reciprocate my feelings. (That only confused me more as the days went by and there were no phone calls from his number.)
One day that summer, when I arrived at work, one of the older cashiers --bless her; she was always a darling-- pulled me aside and gave me his cell phone number, and told me that he wanted me to call him.

I did. Otherwise the story would end there.

We kept in touch, even after I was let go from the company in August 2005.
My ex got in touch with me when I started working for a new company. He invited me over to his house for a kick back; I brought Jacob along. He was all that was on my brain; I completely missed the signals that my ex wanted to get back with me. (The other times that my ex invited me over --when I went alone-- he would claim to be 'cold' and want to warm up under a blanket.)
Our first kiss happened unexpectedly that following May. I was the DD at a bar for a friend on 18+ night --the friend was 21-- and, out of the blue, I get a text from him that says he's outside. He didn't want to come in (he would have been charged a fee anyway) so I went out to see him. We're just standing there, having a conversation, when he grabs my face and goes for it.
That summer we spent driving around on country backroads, listening to music (he introduced me to Poets of the Fall on one of those trips) and talking.
Finally, that fall, when I was out with the girls --and after a Woodchuck-- my friends encouraged me to call him and call him out on some stuff. I did. The next day, we met for lunch to talk about what was going on between us (it had been over a year of uncertainty) and agreed to "try the dating thing for a while."

I met his family that Thanksgiving (and appeared, quite unexpectedly, in their family photo). That Christmas was the first time I cried in front of him.
It's been nearly four years since then, and we've been through good times and bad times.
I can't wait for the next chapter of our lives to start.

Welcome! (laying my intentions bare)

Hello, world of Blogger and readers from elsewhere!

I am starting this blog because one of the most important days of my life is coming: the day that my love asks me to marry him.
He's already made his intentions known, so I've begun the "research" part of wedding planning; I'm creating a folder of ideas for what I like as far as weddings go, and I'm finding out what's available in my area.

I plan on using my Blogger blog to share ideas, pool information, and share my journey with other future brides-to-be.

...the truth is, I've had my wedding planned for years. (Yes, I was one of those girls.)
Or at least I've had ideas.
Attending weddings over the years has sharpened my list of likes, as well as dislikes, and I will not be going into this blind.

Some would call me foolish for wanting to start this blog --seeing as how I quit my job in April, and my boyfriend got laid off last month-- but I know that it's going to happen. And, honestly, it can take its time getting here; I have pounds to shed!!

Coming next post: our romance, so far. =)